Wednesday Thoughts

America's Next Top Model is a rerun, so I'm sitting here watching Idol Gives Back. It's like a telethon, raising money for different charities. Two of the charities they are giving to is Save the Children and The Global Fund to Fight AIDS. The clips of what these two charities provide are killing me and really giving me a kick in the butt. The clips are just showing children in need, orphans due to AIDS, and children who live in neighborhoods where it is unsafe for them to play outside. I have a huge soft spot for kids. But, this has made me realize that maybe I don't appreciate what I have like I should. I have a great husband and two gifts from God. I also take very seriously the responsibility that Jeff, Maria, and Robin gave me when they let me care for their children. But, sitting here at the end of a crazy day, I realize I don't let my kids and Brian know how much they mean to me. I don't think I let anyone know what they truly mean to me. Sure, I tell people I love them all the time and I mean it when I say it, but sometimes I don't think the feeling is there behind it.

I took the kids to the Memorial Garden today to make their pictures. This place is great. It's a huge cemetary, but in the spring, it is full of beautiful tulips and azeleas. I can't wait for Brian to edit the pictures and make some black and white. Momma, Nana, and Brian's mom will get some of those for Mother's Day. Pictures of the kids are the best thing to get my mom. She says she can never have enough.

Brian has been studying like CRAZY this week. He has two tests, a project and homework all due this week and a test next week. I am so ready for this semester to be over. I know after finals this semester, we only have one more class!

I have really been thinking about my post on giving God control of my life. Why in the world is this so hard? Why can't I just give up control? Has anyone else found it hard to do? Should I just start with one thing, then add another and another, until finally everything is turned over or should I just go all in? I think the biggest question for me is how do I do this? I have noticed that I feel God leading me in certain directions. I have also noticed that when God shows up and you are doing His work, Satan shows up in full force.

Anyway, I'm tired and I hope to get all the kids tomorrow. I haven't had Becca and Kaylee this week. Kaylee has strepthroat and hasn't been to school in two days. I really miss those girls when they aren't here. Brianna misses them too.