Weight Issues

I have struggled with my weight all of my life. I am beginning to think part of my mood has to do with some weight struggles I have been dealing with this week. I think I am afraid to lose weight. This makes no sense right? It didn't click with me until Jenny said something about being scared Tuesday. That's when it hit me like a freight train. I'm scared to lose weight! Why am I scared? I have been fat all my life. I have always been the fat sister, the fat friend, the fat mom. Frankly, I'm tired of it! If I lose this weight, I will have to come up with a new "identity" for myself. I will have to become a new person. I do NOT want to pass this problem onto my kids.

Here's my plan:

Start walking five times a week, for more than 200 minutes a week. Plus I will take the kids for neighborhood walks 4 times a week.
Really watch what I eat, not the old joke that I watch everything go into my mouth. But, make conscious decisions about what I am eating.
Stop giving excuses!
Don't obsess! If I screw up a meal or snack, start again that minute.
No eating just because I am bored.

I am not the person that God wants me to be. Isn't gluttony one of the seven deadly sins? This is not who He wants me to be. I am not living to my full potential. How can God bless me when I am not abiding my His word and not living like I should?

Can I do this and still eat what I want? Can I still eat chocolate, ice cream, The Beacon, and pizza? Yes, I lost 60 pounds doing that. But, it's like a bank account. You get so many carbs, in my case, to spend in a day. If you overdraw you just overdraw. You start again the next second. I am actually feeling a little better, just getting this out and admitting to the fact. So, I hope you all have a great night. I am going to work on my menus for next week.

One more thing: Thank you Carol for the Southwestern Chicken recipe that I posted earlier in the week!